I finally met kaka this afternoon... "Met". We met but never talked to each other. During break, or praying time, I waited for her for a while in my class like I usually do. Then she passed by... And she went straight to the praying room... Actually she always does that, but... she seemed quicker today...
I cry almost everyday I meet her... At first I always cry at nights. Then I began to cry right after school... And lately I've been crying in my ugama class when she leaves me after break-time. I've stopped accepting sympathy from my friends. Every time I want to cry, I pull a chair into the back corner of the class and either spill my tears or weep. I don't want anyone to see me crying... Every time someone wants to see my face during the emo moments, I turn away.
'Rau, are you okay?' asked Nissa this afternoon.
'I'm okay...!' I wept.
She gave me a tissue.
'I'm sorry...' I told her faintly. 'Thank you...'
'What's wrong?'
'Nothing...!'
'Are you sure?'
'I'm okay...!'

And I always say sorry to them because I really do feel ridiculous. I feel... vulnerable... I hate it...
So anyway, kaka's been having this so-called-crucial fever lately. I came and sat next to her in the prayer room. I kinda startled her xD Then she never talked to me. She talked with her other surrounding friends, though. She just patted my head "lovingly" like she kinda always does. And I think she was staring at my face for a moment, while I was staring at the floor in front of her. Just staring at me... I think she noticed my signs of tears... Yup, she's kinda good at that xD She used to point at my face and say, "Ahah! You're crying again!" And I would deny it and she would say, "Yes, you did! Red eyes, red nose, running nose! Ma-ha!" And I just kept denying it.
Then when it was time to leave, she tapped my knee with the back of her hand and I think she said, "Come on." And she still didn't talk to me all the way to back to the class. And she didn't wave me goodbye anymore... So I thought, it's true... She really doesn't love me anymore...

And before the break, the teacher asked Adib to be the teacher wah and explain some lessons xD It was a really really hilarious scene! My stomache ached due to the hard laughter...! Damn...! xD xD

Arit *yawn*... love B.

xp xD *faints*...