Was just staring at kaka's picture and couldn't help crying... I still can't stop... Thinking that... "She's not here anymore..." "When school reopens I won't be seeing her anymore..." I hope mum can't read my eyes, man... She probably can... Dad did it once and if he can do it, she can do better. Kaka just left for stupid Pinoy about three hours ago. An hour later I tried to miss-call her and it went engaged... She's gone.
I'm kinda angry at Jyuu right now. I told kaka to tell him to be online at this time because I need someone to be there for me. I told kaka to remind him over and over. And he's not fucking here! What is wrong with that boy?! Arghh...! He does this to me all the time...
Tomorrow begins the fasting month. Whee!! Bring on the weight loss! Of course, that's not the only reason why I love the fasting month. I don't know, for some reason it just excites me... But not as much this year... =( The other bad news is (besides kaka gone and Jyuu's not online) I'm having my period. It would be great news if it happened on an ordinary day. But I'm missing out the fasting month! And at the very beginning of it, moreover...! Geez...! This has got to be the worst day of my life! ... Maybe not. I think the day I got 4As was worse... =/ God just hates me. I deserve it, though... My stomach's starving... I haven't eaten anything tonight... Okay, I've eaten two packets of snacks. But not dinner. Might as well starve me to death. Maybe God will go easy on me if I punish myself. Whaddo you think?
God, why do you create me?? I bring only chaos to this world and to myself. I know you don't make mistakes so why?? WHY??!!!
Arit
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