Voices of an Addict

RELINK ME IF YOU STILL CARE. (;

2011-02-11T20:58:00.001-08:00

http://www.lusierspeaks.blogspot.com/

2008-11-25T18:54:00.001-08:00

MOVED !

2008-11-22T04:51:00.000-08:00

When a leader of an organisation steps down, the people of the same organisation means nothing at all.
I don't care how cheesy that sounds but what I'm trying to say is that I'm not gonna be blogging anymore. Not here, at least. I'm working on my own new... eh... blog x)

So feel free to remove this blog from your links.
That's okay, right, Luce?
xD

Oh well.

I'll let you know when I'm done fixing up my blog. Or when I need help on it xD

Tira

2008-11-19T17:59:00.000-08:00

Lus will not be blogging here anymore. :)

2008-11-16T21:53:00.000-08:00

I feel like no one knows the inner me. No one ever comes up to me and ask if anything's wrong. How come I always have to tell to get you to listen to my feelings? I thought you'd understand me so well to come up and ask what's wrong even if I never told you anything. How come this always happens to me? How come I never have anyone to just spread out everything I want to say and just always be there for me? How come I'm always the one crying my heart out and no one really cares? How come??

I can't say anything, I have no words left.
My throat is feeling plunged as if all my emotions are left buried underneath, I can't cry because it's all covered.
This pain I've never felt.
I am sad.

Just.. don't bother saying anything anymore.
You don't care anyway.
Nobody does.

Lus

2008-11-15T03:23:00.000-08:00

I think I hate my computer. It takes me about thirty minutes to get here. Mm.

I hate it when he doesn't reply my miss-calls. Aah...

I just realised;
sometimes what annoys us doesn't disturb us (like studying) and what disturbs us doesn't annoy us (like... our phones... ?)
xD

Ahahah.
I feel weird.

-- On the phone --
Tira: I hate my ex. I'm gonna hit my head now.
Arif: Don't. Don't do it.
Tira: Okay...
Arif: You know you could get into a coma! Or get an amnesia. And if you get an amnesia, you... may not remember me... And if you forget about me... we won't see each other again.
Tira: You can just show me my phone.
Arif: What if your phone is broken?
Tira: Umm... Friendster? You can show me my profile.
Arif: I doubt that'd be believable.
Tira: Oh... Ah! My diary!
Arif: Oh yeah... Your diary... That's a good one!

It's so cold, my hands're drying up.

Tira

2008-11-12T03:25:00.000-08:00

I'm still against school.

There's not much I can do, but I sucked in my pmb. You know, I just realised that I worked very hard for every exam this year except for the last one. Just like everything else I've done, it's stupid. Harmy did warn me, I guess.

Tira

2008-11-07T06:16:00.000-08:00

I suddenly feel so upset. It's as if all those emotions just showered on me within a blink of an eye. All my past, all those depressing memories. Everything. Words just can't explain this feeling.

My life is pointless, I have no goals anymore. I wish I could just tumble off a cliff and just end it there. I wish I could be just like any other ordinary girl. Simple, happy and livin' the sweet life. This sucks.

"sigh"

Lus

2008-11-06T21:44:00.000-08:00

Heheh. I'm sitting in front of the tv. Star World is showing Heroes. Hahah. There was this small conversation between Parkman and this African dude.
"You're from America," the dude said.
"Yes," said Parkman.
"You know Britnew Spears?"

Ahahah. I just find that hilarious. Wth, man.

Outside my house, there're like two tents... ? No, there ain't no circus, people. One of neighbour my neighbours is getting married is all. Mmm... wedding...
Stop it, Tira. Daydreaming has its limits. Stop it.

Tira

2008-11-04T07:12:00.001-08:00

Oh, I just realised. Again.
Arif's older sister teaches my cousin!
Wow.
She's an MS teacher...
Wow.
Wouldn't it be weird if, like, I studied there and she teaches me and...
That'd be pretty awkward *twitches*
... "'Cher! I'm dating your brother!"
(0.0)
*shudders*
But my cousin can go, like, "Dude, my cousin's dating your brother."
xD

*sighs*
Guys are asses. Girls just fall for them.

Anyway, happy third monthly anniversary, Arif. I know things've been running havoc in your mind. Sayang, we come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Tira
In hopes that the love between Arif and I continues to grow stronger and eternal.

2008-11-03T05:24:00.000-08:00

I dedicate Miley's "Seven Things" to Arif.
Well... eighty percent of it... ?

I went to school today to return the textbooks.
Talked to Jeer in the afternoon on the phone.
Really, yesterday was beyond awesome. Should take some time to write it down in my diary.

Tira

2008-11-02T05:12:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I didn't reply your message again, Luce. Anyway, it's really cool to have what you just got x3

The day was beyond awesome.

Woke up at seven-twenty-one and was sent to Rai's after breakfast. The gorilla had tuition and my parents were attending a function at the Empire Hotel. Rai and I left with Dayat for Zee's house to fetch her and Fatin. Then we went to Excapade. Not much of a surprise, kaka was there. She had her own group, which included Jeer. Arif was just missing.

We settled in one of those small rooms. When I called Arif to check on him, he sounded a bit angry and was still at home. We took about fifteen minutes to order. Then the rest of the girls decided to go to the toilet. So I was left with Dayat. My order came and as I snapped my chopsticks in two, I remembered that was how it was when I first met him; having kani maki, iced Milo, struggling with the chopsticks. Except, he wasn't there.

As hard as I tried to blink my tears away, they shed anyway. I felt so ridiculous; crying in front of Rai's crush. I don't know if he noticed, though. It was a good thing he didn't panic if he did. I stared at my phone, sighed and sipped my drink over and over for about thirty minutes. Then he called.

"Where are you?" he asked.
"Wh-What? Excapade... ?"
"Where?"
"Well where are you?" I asked him.
"Here", he said.
"Um... okay, okay, I'm going out."

I rushed out of the room, wiping my tears. And I found him standing not too far away from me along the hallway.

"Okay, Rif, turn around," I said to the phone. We walked back to our table without him realising my slightly swollen eyes.
Thank God.

And it turned out the girls didn't actually go to the toilet. They went to buy a cake. Well, a cupcake at that but there was an edible teddy bear on it x3 Awwww... I really gotta get Rai something.

So afer that we walked to The Mall and to the Cineplex to buy tickets to see the movie "The Coffin". Thinking that I was going home at three, I didn't book a seat for me. And that was when kaka suddenly hugged me. And hit my head. Maybe it was me, but Arif was glaring.
Psht. Yeah, it was me.

Then we went to the Arcade.

Rai: Rau, you share a K-Box with Arif.
Tira: Ah-- What?! Isn't that illegal?!
Rai: Come on. This could be your only chance.
Tira: Rai!
Rai: Don't worry, we'll keep an eye on you. We can see you from here.
Tira: Psht, yeah. And so can everyone else!

Then she decided to accompany with Dayat. My Gosh, that box is the only place I can actually feel my heart thumping against my chest. Argh, loud music, man.

Then Amin came. I mean, some other guy named Amin came. Zee hooked him and Rai up. He doesn't seem bad. Then we made our way to the... Cheezebox? Kaka and Jeer soon came along.

Tira: Kaka, this is Arif.
Kaka: Yeah, I know! I saw his pictures and his video! I know!
Arif: *looks at me*
Kaka: Rif, she said my brother looks like you!
Arif: (0.0)?!
Tira: He does!

My dad then called to tell me that he'd pick me up around four. Just enough time to watch a movie.

After finishing their desserts, we went back to Cineplex. But it was too late for me to book another seat for me. Fortunately, Amin gave up his ticket because he had other friends hanging around. Arif was so grateful, he looked at Amin for a while and almost hugged him xD How adorable.

It was a horror movie. But the viewers behind us made it so hilarious, man.

Sitting with Arif... ? Well... what happened then is just something I should bring to my grave.

Tira

2008-11-01T06:57:00.000-07:00

A few random stupid questions;

- Does anyone care what the words "is", "the" and "and" mean?

- Would the examiners accept your answers if you answered your Math paper in words?
Example:

2 + 2

Ans: Four.

Hahah.

I love Arif.

Tira

Today, was average.

2008-11-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

Went out to search for a new phone. I'm getting it tomorrow, perhaps. After that, went out to have dinner with the family. Something strange but funny happened though.

Mum and I grabbed a seat at one of the tables in the restaurant. When we took our seats, a stranger and her child took a seat at our table too. I was like, "uhh, okay." Was kinda awkward, but I kept laughing. Then the woman kept staring at me, and I stopped laughing. lol then she ordered a drink for her kid, and sat there until her child finished the drink, while she munched on some goodies. I couldn't help but laugh again after that. I just thought it was hilarous.

After about fifteen minutes, she left.

When she left, I burst out laughing like I've never laughed before. Then dad was like,

"there's nothing strange about that, it's actually quite common."
Me : "how come?"
Dad :"when you have no place to sit, that's what you have to do."
Me : "but there's so many other seats around us."
Dad : "donno, maybe cos it's nearer."
Me : "swt. -.-"

I told Jee and Wee about it, but they weren't suprised. -.-

Anyway, I'm off.
Kinda feel feverish.

Lus

2008-10-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

My computer is lagging and Arif's connection is... well... stupid. What? You haven't forgotten I have horrible vocabulary, have you?

What does "no monkey business" mean?
A. "Don't call me a monkey."
B. The burglar doesn't want to take Aishah to the zoo.
C. ... [forgot this one]
D. No tricks.

God, that was the first time I laughed in front of an exam paper. Hahah.

-- During Rai's open house --
Arif: *comes to sit next to me*
Tira: *still trembling*
Arif: Are you okay?
Tira: Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.
Arif: You're really shy.
Tira: You think?
Arif: Yeah, you're really shy. You're not looking at me xD
Tira: *staring at Dayat's sock* (0.0)

--

Tira: *slides his phone repeatedly*
Rai: Um... Rif? She's gonna break your phone...
Arif: So? I can just buy a new one.
Rai: Fine!

--

Arif: Whose house is this? *points to Rai's neighbour*
Rai: That's *censored*'s.
Arif: Oh.
Rai: It's big, isn't it?!
Arif: *looks at the house*
Rai: ... *mutters* : Just because his (Arif's) house is bigger.
Tira: Hahah!

The way Arif treats other people suprises me. It's as if I've never seen a guy so cold to a girl xD

Tira

2008-10-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

I told Rai we look like the Cullens from Twilight xD

Left to right:

Rai, Dayat, Me, Arif.

Picture by: Fau.

Yes, Tira, what is it with the stupid face?

Heheh... Arif in red. That's one dream checked xD

Commerce students are still studying now xD

Once again, I've forgotten everything I was putting down here. Maybe I do have short term memory loss.

So. The story behind the pictures?

I didn't go to Arif's. That was Rai's open house x)

*sighs* Yeah.

Tira

It's been a while now.

2008-10-29T05:30:00.000-07:00

I just went through some blogs, and got inspired to write again.

I'm finally flu no more but my eyes still feel sore. I keep blinking every two seconds. Normally I don't. Like I blink every ten seconds or so. Haha I know it's strange, but that's how I am. Anyway, I felt really sick this morning. I kept sneezing and sniffing during the exam. Was like the only one. Then like, was doing my usual sniffing, until I accidentally snorted. It was an accident, man. And I swear I heard the person behind me giggling away. Then I just acted like it wasn't me. lol total embarassment, man. Good thing it was my last day.

Gonna be out with the girls tomorrow. We've planned to ride bumper cars and roller skate. Hey, we're still kids. haha =)

I'm getting sleepy,
off I go.

Nights.

Lus

2008-10-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

Sup, dudes ! I'm buuckkk. =D

After about three or more months of not blogging, I'm finally back. Damn, I suddenly forgot how to blog. LOL anyway, yesterday was the last day of PMR. After months and weeks of preparation, stress and tension. It's finally over. Somehow, I have this feeling of "omg-I-have-to-study-later-for-PMR-after-watching-my-favourite-Taiwan-drama" every now and then. It's already like a habit throughout the year. I can't believe it's over ! :D

And next year, I won't have to wear that butcher's uniform, I'm gonna be naked ! :D ahahaha, nah. Just without pinafore. And I'm gonna be a senior. Whhooo, awesome. The only sucky part is that we're moved to a higher floor. Fourth floor, dude. It's gonna be a tough one. =/

I'm downloading some games to kill time, for the time being.
So toodles!

Lus

2008-10-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

Last night...
Tira: Mum, who's inviting us tomorrow?
Mum: I don't know... Why??
Tira: *grins* ...
Mum: ... As long as it's not a boyfriend somewhere.
Tira: Never mind then.
Mum: I knew something was cooking up.
Tira: He's inviting us...
Mum: ... I'll think about it. I'll sleep on it.

Anyway, she just told me she doesn't wanna go...
Arif may be angry at me. Or just disappointed. Or just busy. Yeah.

School starts again tomorrow... Pmb is you'll-know-how-many-days-if-you-count.

We're going out.

Tira

2008-10-02T00:09:00.000-07:00

Selamat Ari Raya, everyone and maaf zahir and batin =)

Alright, so what's zahir and batin?
Ummm... I think it means inside and outside... ? xD
I'm not sure myself, man.

My open house was this morning. Then we went to Rimba for my great grandmum, then to Belait for my Malaysian grandmum and half Malaysian... folks.

Today I'm wearing green with a mix of blue. Or... maybe it's just green. Hm.

Arif's wearing brown xD x3
He's spending the whole day in Belait.

Tira

Ps. I'm sorry I can't reply your message, Luce. I lose four dollars everyday now, it seems.

2008-09-30T20:43:00.001-07:00

My family didn't take it well, the fact that today's still not Raya. Oh well, right... ?

Kaka and Rai's open house is on the second day, and Arif's is this Sunday.
... I... don't know how to tell my parents this. Would you come to your daughter's boyfriend's open house... ? Well?
I'm pretty sure mum would give me the glare x)
Arghh...

Hahah, since we were sure today was Raya, grandmum slept over last night. Since she didn't want to sleep in the same room with me, she slept in the guest room. And since the guest room doesn't have any night light, she used mine. And since I didn't have any night light, I slept in the dark. Alone. For the first time. Fortunately Arif was there to accompany me until half past three.

Tira: *whimpers* ...
Arif: Sayang... will you be alright... ?
Tira: I-I'll be fine, sayang...
Arif: Banar kah?
Tira: I'll be fine... I'll be fine...
Arif: You can switch on the lights, you know.
Tira: I-I'm gonna have to switch it off anyway.
Arif: Banar pulang...

Ahahah. Mum thought I had another night light. Well I do. But I had used the socket for my charger xD
Stupid, I know.

Tira

2008-09-29T04:25:00.001-07:00

Arghh... My brain's counting system is on vacation during holidays but I can just tell pmb is only a lot of days away.

Wafi called again this morning. Remember him? I haven't told you this but he calls from time to time. Even though I always yell at him whenever he does. I... Okay, label me the baddy here but I just can't stand his constant whinings. They're bloody depressing! He talks about how he regrets what he did, about how he would change everything for me, about how he got zero O's for him June something exam... Merlin's pants! Get your own life!
Everytime he does call I yell at him that I never wanna have to do anything with him. God! And he never understands! Arghhh! He threatened me that he would go to my house this Raya, by the way. It sounded like plan more than a threat, though.
Yes, I've told Arif about him. The thing about Arif is, that... he doesn't like to get himself into trouble. This kind of trouble, at least. I admit; it's cowardly.
Boys, huh.

Tira

2008-09-26T23:33:00.001-07:00

--
Tira: Aren't you gonna invite me to your birthday celebration... ?
Rai: I did!
Tira: ... Really? I can't remember...
Rai: Okay... Rauu... We're eating at Excapade for my birthday on Sunday. Would you like to come?
Tira: Yes!

--

Dayat: Rif, you wanna come along to Excapade this Sunday?
Arif: Hm... ? Oh, yeah, it's... Rai's birthday, right?
Dayat: Yeah, she invited me. Ia blanja.
Arif: Ooh, yes... !

x3
I keep thinking about how we met. It's... Hahah xD

Oh, I finished reading Deathly Hallows this morning. Man, if that really is the final Harry Potter volume I'm sure gonna miss it. I don't think Rowling's losing it like some people might think.

Hmmm...

Tira

2008-09-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's me... but Arif has the power to seduce in his nature.
It's like everything he orders me to do is either obeyed or hardly neglected. Very hardly.
Maybe it's his adorable voice. Or it's his choice of words...

"Please tell me."
"Don't tell me it's nothing. It doesn't sound like nothing."
"Sayang... *commands*"
"Please, sayang."
"You can tell me. It's just me."

Annd I end up spilling every detail on any topic at the moment, or doing what he says.
Arghh... I can't help but feel a bit angry. I mean... God, it's just... so annoying I can't resist him...

Tira

You're strange as angels.

2008-09-23T19:55:00.001-07:00

I really should be studying. But what can you do when you're this much in a holiday mood... ?

It's about seven days left till Hari Raya. Who else has their open house on the second day? Besides Rai and kaka. Arghh...

Ariif...
Mmm... Arif in cara Mlayu... Aaah xD
omg... ! xD

... Wahahahah...

Tira

2008-09-22T14:09:00.001-07:00

It's just after sahur.

- A few hours ago on the phone -
Arif: What's your full name again... ?
Tira: You keep forgetting that... !
Arif: Raudhah Nadhirah... Raudhah...
Tira: Don't even think about calling me that!
Arif: I like your name.
Tira: My family calls me Irah.
Arif: Ooh... Irah... Nice...
Tira: No, no! Stick to "Rau"! It's bad enough you're not calling me "Tira"!
Arif: Sayang... it's a nice name bah.
Tira: What does your family call you?
Arif: Rif, Arif, sayang, *censored*...
Tira: Awww, that's so cute! Does anyone call you "abang"?
Arif: Yeah. My younger cousins.
Tira: Heheh. Abang Ariif...
Arif: ... Wow. Say that again.
Tira: What?! No!
Arif: It was hot. Say it again.
Tira: No!
Arif: Kaka Irah... cakap lagi...
Tira: Oh, don't you call me that!
Arif: Napa kaka inda mau cakap... ?

Arif + Malay/ Bruneian speaking -> awesomely adorable

Maybe it's because he always speaks English with me, but he's damn adorable when he shows his Bruneian side xD
D'you know I've never caught him using "awu"...
Huh.

Tira

2008-09-19T07:58:00.000-07:00

My parents' room is freezing. But I'm forced to stay here just for... a while. I'm not looking at the keyboard xD Wow I'm getting better at this x3
Oh, Arif's gone somewhere for a while. His house has been busy lately what with all the sungkai family gatherings. Hahah. Oh, Arif.

Nin came over this afternoon. There's this song she asked me to download--

Okay, what is it with some guys?! Need I tell them to buzz off for them to do so? Need I actually be meaner? As if ignoring them doesn't send the message or turns them on more. Arghh... Guys. Hi, Rif xD (if you are reading this. Which I hope not x))

Anyway, "Burning Up" by Jonas Brothers... ? It's disturbing... and is giving me stomachaches just thinking about it. They're like... making sounds (0.0) As if they don't turn on girls enough.
*shudders*

My phone is being invaded by Celcom.

Tira

2008-09-17T20:46:00.001-07:00

I love black!

When I was leaving Excapade that day...
Tira: Bah, Rai, I gotta go.
Rai: Byee!
Arif: Bye, whatever-your-name-is.
Tira: It's Tira.
Rai: Rau!
Tira: Tira!
Rai: Rau!
Arif: *points to Rai* She puked.
Rai: What?! No, I didn't!

"Whatever-your-name-is," he said. And look where we stand now. Psht.

I don't mean to be a classist (or is that what you call it), but I can see another difference between the guys who study in private schools and the guys in goverment schools.
Private guys either don't flirt or they flirt better than government guys. Well... in my opinion. You be the judge too. Let's see... Ally, Arif and Mat... and Andy... Yeah... they don't flirt. They just go with the flow xD
Yeah, why am I ranting about this stuff... ?

Anyway, just about a couple o' days after that Excapade meeting, Dayat told Rai...
Dayat: Rai, Rai... I think Arif likes that friend of yours you brought along during your birthday celebration...
Rai: What?! You think so too?
Dayat: Yeah... He keeps talking about her... !
Rai: Really?! Like what?!
Dayat: Adalah.
Rai: omg!

On Sunday, kendo meeting...
Arif: Rau said we should get together again.
Rai: I know... You keep telling me that!
Arif: You should bring her along when we go out again.
Rai: I know!
Arif: *suddenly sad* Rau said I don't smile often...
Rai: She meant you're not the type to smile.
Arif: Yeah...
Rai: You seem sad when you said Rau said you don't smile often *grins*
Arif: *immediately perks up* No *walks away*

*sighs* He's always been so adorable xD

Tira

2008-09-13T21:38:00.001-07:00

Tira: Harmy, how come I never get bored?
Harmy: That's easy. Because you're naturally boring. No, you're the face of boredom.
Tira: You can't blame me, Harmy. It's not like I can go out or even switch on the computer, or watch DVDs without having mum to nag.

It's been, like, more than a year since I've become Luce's co-blogger. And still, some people don't seem to realise which post is posted by which of us. You can tell by the name put down at the bottom of every post, by the way.
And I wonder if Luce still remembers about the existence of this blog, actually. Not only you haven't blogged for, like, months, but you don't even reply your tag messages anymore. Luuce!

I finished reading New Moon the other day. Mum's decided to keep Eclipse and Breaking Dawn because she doesn't want me to concentrate on finishing those books. But now I'm reading Harry Potter's Deathly Hallows. I don't think Meyer's works are better than Rowling's like most people think. They just have their own uniqueness. I think Harry Potter's hilarious. Well, this book at least. British sarcasm rocks.

It's really difficult to be angry at Arif. Not only because he seems innocent, but also because he's been so patient with me. You know, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

Tira

2008-09-10T22:18:00.001-07:00

Most of the people I know say New Moon (sequel to Twilight) is actually boring. Well... I don't think so. It's... pretty exciting than Twilight, actually. Because in Twilight there's just kind of too much... lovey-dovey for me.
Meyer's works are unputdownable, nevertheless.

Actually I've come here without any reason. But I'm just gonna try and babble on.

Once I dreamt Luce was into geckos *shudders* And boy, was there a big one.

Oh, here's a hilarious conversation between Rai and Dayat.
Dayat: Thirteen minutes to sungkai...
Rai: Yeah...
Dayat: Then I can dig my nose!

Ahahah, panat. Well to us, at least.
Oh, and here's Rai's rant about Arif.

"His life is annoyingly perfect! You know he's like, 'You should see my PS3. Or even better -- my laptop,' 'I'm gonna get a new shinai!' And you know, everytime I talk to him, he comes up to my face! And everytime Dayat's near, he says, 'Awkward, eh?' And he can't keep my secret! He told everyone I like Dayat as soon as he heard it!"

My reaction -- "He's so adorable xD"

Tira

I'm sick of this stupid voice.

2008-09-08T05:12:00.001-07:00

One of mum's friend bought New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn for me from Singapore. Sixty dollars. My money is worth books anytime. Story books. I heard there's going to be another volume, though. Midnight Scent or Sun... ?

I wonder why other people don't have silent voices in their heads telling them every bad thing will happen. I wonder why...
But it highly sucks. It's killing me. Almost literally. I wonder what happened to me that didn't happen to other people. I feel like Yuri from Shadow Hearts. Shouting at my head, "Shut up! Shut up!" When this voice speaks, nothing else will draw my attention. See, it's another proof I might be a freak.
If this goes on I may end up alone. Like I almost did this afternoon. Kinda.

Tira: ... Is everything okay kah, Rif?
Arif: I'm fine.
Tira: Are you still happy?
Arif: ... What are you talking about?

I really need to work on this. I love Arif. I can't lose this guy.

And I don't get it. Why is it so wrong to mum that I'm in this relationship? I know it may be a waste of time and effort but we are humans and we are growing up. We fall in love. I know now's not the best of times, but these things just come whether we like it or not. Having Arif is not a matter of... some bloody trend. I have Arif because I'm loving him. Expressing yourself is supposed to be healthy. We can't keep it just in here.

Note: Research how to destroy this stupid voice. Before it's too late.

Tira

2008-09-05T21:38:00.000-07:00

Tira: Harmy, I feel like crying...
Harmy: Tira, please, he can't tend to you everytime, you know.
Tira: Maybe he's found a replacement... I'm not actually the type anyone would want to keep...
Harmy: Arit...
Tira: Any girl would be better to him. Because I'm actually the worst. And now it's hurting... !
Harmy: That's exaggerating.
Tira: He wants someone who he can go out with... Someone who lets him touch her... Someone who's much prettier... And that's not hard to find at all... !
Harmy: He wants you, Tira.
Tira: I don't see why... !

Arif... Arif...

I am nuts.

Tira

2008-09-04T06:10:00.001-07:00

I asked myself the same question Yawen has asked when I'd blogged as much as she has. Why is my grammar becoming horrible? Well, Wen, at least you used the word "deteriorating". Ooh, I spelt it x3

I'll take this time to blog as quickly as I can before my "laki" comes home from Trawih.
And just to tell you that we've been a month.
x3

I had a nightmare last night. Was about my house being a purgatory... Won't talk more about it. I forced my eyes open and... as I usually do whenever I get a nightmare, go online. It was two in the morning, I think. Arif was online. He was watching a movie... ? Talked to him about what I had just seen. And... talked to him on the phone until a quarter to three... xD

Is it just me, or my random hyperactivity is slowly fading... ? Wally and Rai were going nuts today and I just stood there and laughed... Huh. This is not good.

Arif awaits.

Tira

Where do we go now?

2008-09-01T21:31:00.001-07:00

- The introduction at Excapade -
Tira: *whispering* Rai, who're they... ?
Rai: Oh, okay. Guys! This is Rau, Fau, kaka Faridah, Dayat... annd Arif. Well... break some ice.
*waitress comes*
Rai: I'm paying, by the way. But just fifty dollars.
Arif: Ooh... I want shake! And this *points at menu*, and this and this and seaweed...
Tira: *gives weird look* Umm... salmon teriyaki don and two sets of kani maki...

-- The first conversation -
Tira: Eat, Rai! Don't let me be fat alone! You're bony enough!
Arif: *looks at us*
Tira: *looks at Arif* She's bony!
Arif: I'm bony too. Wait, we're not bony. We just have a low metabolism *thingy*
Tira: Right... Oh, I'm the only fatty here...

He ordered a drink which had a cherry attached to the glass...

Tira: *gasps*... ! Cherry... !
Arif: Oh, you like cherry?
Tira: *nods* Uh-huh...
Arif: Well it's mine.
Tira: Awww...
Arif: ... *picks up the cherry*... You want it?
Tira: N-No... It's yours...
Arif: You sure... ? I'd give it to you...
Tira: No, take it.
Arif: *swallows the cherry*

Readers of this blog are mostly Chinese but happy fasting anyway.
I accidentally put a candy in my mouth earlier this morning. Then I was like, "I wonder what's for breakfast... Wait, we don't have breakfast... So why am I eating?"
And I immediately spat it out xD This is not the first time, by the way. The other time I was even eating satay.

Tira

Rubiks and Twilight madness.

2008-08-29T06:06:00.001-07:00

Yes, what is it with my classmates... ? I mean... I won't mention why, but there's something weird about them...

"Rau, Rau! Downloadku some songs, if you don't mind... Haha. The Script_ The Man Who Can't Be Moved. Atu kali saja, I think."
- Nawal

That was about a week ago, I think... Nahh... Anyway, yeah, I recommend you that song. It's touching. In a sweet way.

Wally (Nawal) just solved the Rubiks like... two days ago, I guess. I love watching her turning that thing. It's so... well... nice and fast... ? xD I lack vocabulary. Anyway, Rai's almost there too. As for me... ? Well I can't seem to care much about it... I just like to observe. It's cool x3

And finally got to borrow Twilight. It's Rusdina's. And I've never seen such a poorly taken-care-of book... She didn't wrap it, the cover's coming off and she pasted... *checks*... Spongebob in it! *sniff, sniff* This is a disgrace! Books shouldn't be treated like this! Storybooks, of course.

Happy birthday to my kaka dearest. Be fine. I meant to sent her ten dollars worth of credit and somehow... she received six dollars only.

- Phone call the other night -
Tira: Rif, I need to speak my mind.
Arif: What is it... ?
Tira: Ummm... I'm not... comfortable with your making a lot of physical contact with other girls...
Arif: ... Oh...
*total silence*
Arif: ... I'll try my best...
Tira: Hm... ? You'll try and stop it... ?
Arif: ... Mmm...
*total silence*
Arif: ... I'll try my best... Maybe I'll put a sign around my neck.
Tira: Aww, hahah... No, you wouldn't... !
Arif: I would.

Of course, I don't completely believe that.
Twilight...

and Arif x3

Tira

My nerd.

2008-08-26T04:54:00.000-07:00

Hopefully he won't mind. But right now just look at that face! Aaaah... ! I think this picture was when he was at Asma hotel. When he was supposed to work and prepare for the annual dinner. Rai said he was slacking and this is evidence xD Ahahah. She took this picture, by the way.

He looks effing adorableee!!! Waaahh!! Yes, this is my definition of adorable.

See, he doesn't play football. He's into kendo, playing piano and anime. And spends almost twenty-four hours online. On holidays. And he likes Math. True nerd, no?

x3

And yes, this is Arif.

Tira

2008-08-26T00:52:00.001-07:00

I just got back from another computer extra class...

I told Arif what I told you in my previous post. On the phone x3 I even listed the bad things about me, which got really hilarious.
Yes, I told him I look for porn sometimes. There was silence for what seemed like five seconds. Then I heard him clear his throat and said, "E-Excuse me... ?"
Ahahah... And then, "Well... you're not the only one..."

Arif wants to come over to my house one of these Ramadhan sungkais. Once again... he can't. See, this is how I imagine my conversation with mum would be.

Tira: Mum, my friend wants to join us for sungkai.
Mum: Siapa?
Tira: Arif.
Mum: Llaki? Boyfriend kah?
Tira: ... Yeah... He's seventeen, by the way.
Mum: How'd you meet a seventeen-year-old?
Tira: Rai's birthday party at Excapade.
Mum: Oh, so that's why you've been wanting to go out with your friends recently!

(._.)
I can't risk that. Maybe we'll try Hari Raya, Rif...
*sighs*

Arif and I are quater Malaysians... And he speaks the Malaysian or Singaporean accent with his dad (0.0) Seriously, I've heard them talk.
And and believe it or not he's also quarters of Singaporean and Japanese and... that... other race xD Yeah... Japanese? It is hard to believe. But I trust him xD

Tira

2008-08-23T21:19:00.001-07:00

I'm slightly depressed... I need to talk to Arif... I feel like he's bored of me... (._.) *sighs* I won't blame him.
Maybe I should start introducing him to... me. I think I've been being Tira all this time with him. I mean, Tira's, like, the perfect innocent goody-two-shoes. Me? I sometimes look for porn, and I call the guy who's opposite of my room a gorilla. And and I'm quite the couch potato. And and not to mention I'm highly dense.
... He doesn't know he has a monster as a girlfriend.

I just never bothered to change myself for anyone. But now there's Arif... I never thought anyone could make me want to change. I wanna be a better person... I wanna be able to tell myself I deserve this young gentleman, this hilarious scrumptiously hot slightly-poklenese nerd.

Excuse me for saying -- I want him.

Tira

The special weapon... ?

2008-08-23T04:44:00.001-07:00

English oral.
I was only good in the beginning, I tell you. How embarrassing. And I actually tried out my British accent... ! As you might know, I only use the accent with my friends. I've just always thought that it sounded... ugh... But since I wanted to give it my best today, I read the whole passage that was given in British accent. And boy, did I feel my nose... "kambang" xD

Examiner: Raudhah! How did you do that accent?!
Examiner #2: That was excellent!
Examiner: Where did you get to learn that accent?
Tira: Well... I just started imitating Harry Potter.
Examiner: Oh, Harry Potter!
Examiner #2: I was speechless!
Examiner: But surely there's gotta be something else that gave you that accent.
Tira: Well... I guess it's because mum uses the accent too.
Examiner: Ah, I knew it.

Yes, I do love reading out loud in a British accent when I'm alone or with my friends. But still... I expected the exam to be much better (._.) I sucked. Seriously!

*sighs* Right. I have to tell Arif once again that I can't come and see him tomorrow. That is, until pmb is over. Hopefully.

Ooh! Rai's talking to me again! Infact, she followed me to my house after the exam. She explored my room and we played Guitar Hero xD

Tira

2008-08-22T10:05:00.001-07:00

Aaaah... ! Aaaah... ! Aaaah... ! x3

I've just talked to Arif on the phone again... ! x3 Alright, it was like twenty minutes ago. And it's... five minutes to one in the morning. Tomorrow's school, by the way.
*sighs* I can't stop smiling and I can't sleep.

Arif: I gotta see you...
Tira: *silenced*
Arif: ... Made you awkward, didn't I? Mwahahahah... !
Tira: Ahahah... ! *coughs*
Arif: You should stop laughing now. Batuk sudah tu.
--
Arif: Don't be mad. But you sound like my ex.
Tira: You don't know? I am your ex.
Arif: *gasps* Oh my God!
Tira: Ahahah... !
Arif: Hahah. Cali ko ani eh...

*sighs* x3 God, it been a long time since I laughed so much.

Tira

2008-08-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

It's been three days now. Rai still doesn't wanna talk to me. I don't know why. Rai doesn't wanna talk to me, Luce!

I had to ask Arif.

"Do you still love her?"
"No..."

"Why does she come first in your featured friends?"
"I'll go change it."
"Screw that. I just wanna know why."
"'Cause... I've been a bit busy to update..."

His hesitation makes me more doubtful. And he still hasn't changed that other thing in his profile. I have to trust him. Otherwise, like Harmy said, be a control freak.

Tira Delacoix

2008-08-20T05:47:00.001-07:00

Tira: *screams in pillow*
Harmy:Tirr...
Tira: Everything was going alright. Until she came along!
Harmy: Don't say that. It's just you.
Tira: Yeah. As usual.
Harmy: Yeah. Tira, Arif seems to be a really nice guy. I think you can trust him. Besides, he is the guy who told you to follow your heart. I'm pretty sure he would too.
Tira: Arghh! But the Friendster! The-The nick!
Harmy: I know... Arit, you're just gonna have to trust him. Otherwise, you're gonna have to question his love for you, which never makes you look good.
Tira: I feel so little, Harmy. She's, like... about his age... pretty... And she's not... Well let's just say she's not a boring girl like me.
Harmy: That is true. But Arif loves you.
Tira: He only started loving me because she stopped talking to him. You know... I'm like a temporary replacement.
Harmy: Don't say that. Tira, they're both nice people. And she has her own love. And Arif told you about her because he trusted you to trust him. 'Kay?

Alright, complete story? Arif put me and his ex in one conversation last night.

And we did, Arif changed his sweet nick.
They looked so happy talking to each other.
Arif hasn't updated his profile if you know what I mean. No, worse. He updated his profile, but he didn't change the things he was supposed to change! Like why am I the second featured friend and she's the first one?!

Overreacting, huh? Okay.

I don't mind trusting him. I'm not gonna let my negative Persona get the best of me. You hear that?! SCREW YOU, you stupid voice!

Wish me luck, though xD

Tira

2008-08-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

Mag has said the sweetest thing I've ever heard from her. She said it to Jeer, though.

"When Lu See was with Rau, I was alone. But then I found you."

I don't like using all caps. But AWWWW! And she said it with a straight face which looked romantic xD Ahahah. She'd choke me if she knew I'm posting this x3 *sniff* Oh, Mag, that is just so sweet. Jeer almost cried xD

"But then I found you."

Ahahah... ! God! I can't get enough of it x3

Oh, Arif =)

Tira

2008-08-17T09:08:00.001-07:00

I fell asleep waiting for Arif last night. But then the phone vibrated in my hand and woke me up. It was Arif! omg!

Arif: Hello? It's me... !
Tira: Hii...
Arif: I'm still at Asma. I left my laptop.
Tira: Oh, hahah. I just woke up...
Arif: Oh. No wonder you sound, like, tired.
Tira: It's your voice... !
Arif: Yeah!
Tira: So what are you doing right now?
Arif: I'm talking to you, and I'm walking.
Tira: You're alone?
Arif: No, Dayat's with me. Dayat... ! Huh, what's wrong?
Dayat's voice: Ada ia message ah...
Arif: Oh... Aku ikut kau ta tu?
Dayat's voice: Yeah.
Tira: You have to go?
Arif: No, no. Hahah, did I wake you up?
Tira: Yeah...
Arif: Oh, I'm sorry.
Tira: It's really fine.
Arif: Oh. Well I have to go now.
Tira: Okay.
Arif: I love you.
Tira: I love you too... !
Arif: Bye.

And that was... ten minutes after midnight. Kasian eh.

I was right. I thought Arif would sound like a Filipino since he studied in PDS. Well... he kinda sounded like a Filipino. His voice was adorable x) I've heard it before, last night he reminded me how it sounded.

Tira

2008-08-16T08:18:00.001-07:00

It's four minutes after eleven at night and Arif's not home yet. He's at his kendo annual dinner along with Rai and Dayat.
*sighs*
Let me take this time to talk about one of Arif's flaws.
I know he loves me. Well... I'm pretty sure, anyway. But I'm sorry to say sometimes he just talks... bull. Like like like...

Arif: I love you when the night is young...
Tira: ... What if the night is old... ?
Arif: It never does, baby.

Or or or...

Tira: You wanna kidnap me?
Arif: Yeah.
Tira: ... Would you?
Arif: I would. 'Cause I love you.

Otherwise...

"I'll love you forever."
"You could never let me down."
"You're hot."

Yeah...

We prayed at the nearby mosque this evening for the Nisfu Syaaban. And I saw Al Amin. He never seems to notice me. Hahah, oh well.

Still waiting.

Tira

2008-08-16T03:14:00.000-07:00

Nothing new about life. Holidays are here, been studying since forever. Here's some random pictures.

Lastest

nothing much happened lately, I had new kitties once, and the second, they were gone.

Lus

2008-08-14T22:58:00.001-07:00

My life is dull. Well in case you haven't noticed. Wake up, go to school, sleep in the afternoon, eat, go online until midnight. Otherwise, wake up, watch tv, lock self in room, maybe train Pokemon. Yeahh.

Let me try and rant about some things I've been wondering.

When Amin came out of the examination room yesterday, we were anxious to know what he was asked. He said it was about his future occupation. He also said he still didn't have an ambition and just made up he wanted to be a teacher.
So... is that why he doesn't try in school very hard... ? He doesn't see where he should be in the future? He doesn't see what could happen to him... ? Muadz said he wanted to be a scientist. And his grades aren't all that bad at all.
. . .
You have to have a goal to chase... and you have to chase to have a goal...
... Ahahah. I just made that up. It doesn't pretty fit xD

Hmmm... what was that other rant again... ?

Oh, Luce, Syukri lost his fringe. Now he's all spiky and we can see his forehead xD

Ahahah, Rai's conversations with Arif x3

Arif: Rai... I wanna thank you.
Rai: Err... why... ?
Arif: Because of you, I met Rau.
Rai: Ookay... Don't thank me. Thank Dayat. He invited you. And besides, he was the one who invited me to join kendo in the first place.
Arif: Yeah, but still... Thank you.

--

Rai: I feel guilty...
Arif: Hm? Why?
Rai: I think I ignored Rau today...
Arif: ... Rai... please be nice to Rau...

Ahahah... ! That one made me laugh a lot... ! I feel so protected and and... Ahahah... ! omg... ! Ahahah... ! x3

Tira

2008-08-14T02:13:00.001-07:00

It's two minutes to five in the afternoon and I just got back from my Malay oral. I think the kefahaman was alright... It was just the conversation.

Examiner: Ceritakan tentang diri.
Tira: Nama saya Nur Raudhah Nadhirah. Saya berumur empat belas tahun. Saya tinggal di Kampung Tanjong Nangka...
*awkward silence
Examiner: Brapa adi bradi?
Tira: Saya mempunyai seorang abang.
*awkward silence*
Examiner: Kamu adalah anak yang ke... ?
Tira: Saya anak yang paling muda.
Examiner: Apakah cita-cita kamu apabila sudah menjadi ibu nanti?
Tira: Saya bercita-cita hendak menjadi seorang kaunselor.
Examiner: Sebagai kauselor, apakah bidangan yang kamu perlu?
Tira: (Wha??) *stays quiet, smiles*

Ahahah. But she was nice and showed some interest.

Tira

2008-08-11T09:33:00.001-07:00

Ahahah! Ahahah! I have Arif's picture as my wallpaper! Ahahah! Ahahah! x3
There's this picture of him with his ex, I think. I wouldn't take it, but his face in it was too adorable to leave wah x3

It's twenty-three minutes after midnight, by the way. I haven't told you but mum's locked the computer ever since she found out about my Math and IRK results. But I guess this new rule doesn't really matter since she hasn't taken away my phone and there's e-speed xD Thank God!

Arif: I wanna come to your house sometime if you don't mind. I wanna meet your parents.
Tira: Hahah. Then I'll be sorry if they scare you.
Arif: Oh, that's alright. People do try to be careful for the ones they love. I just have to fit in.
Tira: I think it's easy to fit in here. You just have to be a good boy and... ambitious.
Arif: Ah... Then that's fine with me.

Hahah.

Fellow Bruneians, I am sorry to inform you that the big daddy's coming in less than two months. Two months to finish reading History and IRK. 'Kay.

Tira

2008-08-07T01:50:00.000-07:00

I won =)
I won the Spelling Bee x3
Can't wait to tell Arif. He knew I could do it... ! xD

Yeah, big deal. It's just spelling. Well Imma get chocolates and well... that makes everything worth it. Was a great day today. Skipped all subjects except the last one, which was History =) And I realised how much all you people rock my world. My friendly friends, I mean x3 Contestants; Wally, Rai, Fate, Liz and yeah, you people are alright =)

Tira

2008-08-06T00:33:00.000-07:00

Arif has made us officially official by proposing the night before last night.

We played rugby today and Rai and I scored a goal each. Then tomorrow we have another Spelling Bee competition. Wish me luck, you guys.

Tira

2008-08-04T01:52:00.000-07:00

Oh. We didn't get to meet after all. Because... the birthday girl couldn't (._.) Anyway, we're trying again this week x3

Arif says we're official! And I'm saying this in a troubled way. I mean... I love him. I do. But... I'm just -- not -- ready yet! I-I-I... God, a few months ago I asked for a boyfriend from You. But You know I don't mean this... ! . . . Ohh... You're teaching me not to be desperate, is it... ?
Besides that, he said he's gonna love me forever... Arghh... ! Have you seen what's happened to Wafi?!
I can't tell him (._.) You don't know Arif. That boy is just... too innocent to be harmed.

Tira

2008-08-02T08:44:00.001-07:00

Riiiif!
. . .
Oh.

- Several minutes ago -
*Arif comes online*
Tira: *smacks you*
Arif: Ouch! Honey, I'm sorry.
Tira: Thank you, Arif.
Arif: I'm still in a meeting at TheMall. I'll be back in ten minutes, okay? Wait for me.
Tira: Okay, sayang.

Hahah... ! I think I'm in love with this conversation... We sound like husband and wife. You know, I'm like the worrying wife, and Arif's like, "I'm still in a meeting, honey." x3

Wafi's once again trying to convince me. Mann.

Tira

2008-08-02T02:07:00.000-07:00

There was class replacement today, it was until 3.30, but I came back at 1 plus cos almost everyone went back, and the teachers weren't doing anything. So yeah, might as well spend the rest of the day at home. At around 4.30, played badminton with Wee. I just realised I suck. I lost my touch. :( Stopped around five thirty cos' bro called us in to have dinner at pizza. I'm still dirty and sweaty, I'll take a shower in a few minutes.

Yesterday, a few Japanese came to school. All of them didn't look quite good, but I thought this girl who had her hair tied weirdly, was looking pretty among the rest. We had roll call for almost an hour, and yeah, Dato' Fong was talking pretty much. Then he called the pretty Japanese to talk on the mike, and she was all shy. But when she talked, all the people shouted? I thought she sounded cute tho.

I feel like barfing',

chao*

Lus

2008-07-30T22:47:00.001-07:00

Arif, I miss you, Arif. I gotta see you...

D'you know we were both at TheMall yesterday?? I think he was just at the ground floor and I was just well... not very there. But "pokoknya" we didn't bump into each other (-_-) Ish. Oh and he bought a laptop. HP Pavilion 3600, was it? "Pokoknya" it's fancy and he's planning to lend it to me (0.0)... which would be best to decline. I think x3

I'm sorry for the piling posts, Yawen. I know how it feels like to return online and see well... this xD

- Arriving at the computer lab -
Tira: Alright. Here we are. At the land where time stands still.
Mukhlash: *glances at watch*
Rai: Don't check your watch... ! Not literally!

Ahahah, I thought that was hilarious x3

- Last night -
Tira: I spoke to my ex this afternoon.
Arif: Okay.
Tira: I told him about you. Ia kirim salam.
Arif: What? Didn't expect that.
Tira: And he wants me to let you know that he still loves me. And he's gonna continue harassing me as long as we're not officially "together".
Arif: Yeah, alright. The thing is... who do you love?
Tira: You know I love you.
Arif: ... I just don't wanna lose you.
Tira: You won't. Not that way, least xD

Tira

2008-07-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Tira: S' it me or you're such a charmer?
Arif: Oh, it's just me.

Sunday's getting nearer and I'm getting more and more nervous. Still haven't asked mum yet. Dammit...

I just got back from TheMall (yes, I'm afraid I do have to go there from time to time).
. . .

Ohh, Arif...

Have you watched Ryan's latest video? It was uploaded just a few days ago. It's about his journey making his movie all the way in California. He said it's going to be in theatres but which we don't know.

Tira

2008-07-28T01:32:00.001-07:00

Oh, mother. I gotta go!! I gotta go this Sunday! I gotta go see Arif again! I have to go! Please be on my side this week, God! I am gonna cry if my parents won't let me, and curse pmb for the time I wouldn't be seeing Arif. Please!

Arif and I aren't together. We're just um... single lovers... ? xD He's so adorable... ! He's seventeen, by the way (Yes, I do seem doomed with these big numbers xD) And he studies in a Technical college already.

Arif: We gotta meet again, Rau.
Tira: We will.
Both: We will!

Oh! Oh! One of my cats gave birth to two kittens x)

Dear Luce,
I'll be linking Wally (Nawal) =)
... Sometime.

Tira

2008-07-26T06:25:00.000-07:00

-- This morning --
Rai: I knew it. He's been telling me about it.

--

Rai: I hope you guys have a chance together. I mean, with Rau liking you and all.
Arif: omGosh...
Rai: ... omg! You don't know?!
Arif: Okay, okay. This'll be just between the two of us.
Rai: Do you have feelings for Rau?
Arif: ...
Rai: omg! Since when?
Arif: Since the moment we met that day.
Rai: Ahahah... !

--

Tira: So when did he say he loved me?

--

Rai: Oh, Dayat. I wonder what he's up to now...
Arif: I wonder what Rau's doing... I love her...

--

Tira: Ahahah... !
Rai: And that was a few weeks ago. Just a few days after the Excapade gathering. He said he wanted to tell you himself.

Tira

2008-07-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

6th of July, Sunday.

All of those cakes pretty much costed me about 30 ringgit plus. I just had to take all of those pretty looking things, and gobbled them up at one go. Cost alot, but I thought that could mend a broken heart. After finishing everything, discovered that it was too sweet. -.-

Anyway, haven't blogged for quite a while, say, three weeks? or so. Wasn't in the mood to do blogging anyway, but I couldn't abandon this blog I brought up. lol

There was this dinner at the Imperial ballroom last night around 7. Reached there at 6 ish, and saw most of the peeps from Riam High. Then there was brass band playing at the hotel corridor. Met up with Jess around 6.30 and went up. Al texted and said she was coming, so we went down. Then we took our seats. And yeah, there were speeches until like 8.30, and the dishes arrived after that. It was somehow funny that everyone was cheering when the dishes arrived. After that, there was shuffling, and Azrai was in it.

Anen, next up was Wan Loong singing with Yen Ling. I loved the singing, was the best among the rest.

Didn't really enjoy the dinner tho, the food wasn't good, and Al and I were the only ones left at the table, cos the rest went downstairs for Jalan-ing. Around 9 ish, 'Lee texted Al saying she was coming and we were all happy and stuff. And yeah, we talked awhile. And went home after that. I went straight to bed.

Yeah, that's it.

Lus

2008-07-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

- Earlier tonight -
Arif: I thought you said you can't go online... ?
Tira: Oh, mum hasn't remembered to confiscate my phone x)
Arif: Oh, hahah.
Tira: Damn.
Arif: Is something wrong?
Tira: ... Can hardly stay away. From you.
Arif: Rau, I think you know what I have to say.
Tira: Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What... ??
Arif: (Oh, God...) These past few days... you just keep appearing... God, I'm really nervous.
*five minutes later*
Arif: Rau, I like you. No, I love you.
*silence*
Tira: Are you serious?
Arif: I really love you.
*silence*
Tira: Rif, I'm not sure what I feel about you.
Arif: It's okay if you don't love me.
Tira: I don't don't love you xD You know, the last thing I wanna do is make you upset.
Arif: Upset? I just wanted to tell you my love for you. And I've never been this happy. I don't wanna leave you. I promise I won't.
Tira: (0.0); Ah, Rif, you might wanna rethink that.
Arif: Oh... sorry.
Tira: I-I mean you know... what if.
Arif: Yeah, I won't make any promises.

By the way, Arif can cook... ! He can make pasta and cookies xD

Tira

Under the iron sea.

2008-07-24T06:23:00.000-07:00

Arif is so sweet xD

Since I've got nothing to talk about, I'll tell you about this game I've recently been playing. Arif introduced me to it.
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3. It's a social game, but at the same time fighting um... evil. It can get pretty creepy. But it's interesting.

Yeah.

Tira

2008-07-23T06:11:00.000-07:00

Arif's Internet was busted. He messaged me this afternoon after he asked for my number from Rai x3
I do have a crush on him.
Have I mentioned that he's Dayat's best friend? Where Dayat is Rai's crush. And they're both super rich and geniuses?

So Arif can't go on tonight. And now we're messaging the conversations. The last time I sent messages this long was, like, two years ago. With kaka.

I feel stupid around him.

Tira

2008-07-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

Where the hell is Arif?! Where the hell is Arif?! I usually see the guy online like... from five-thirty or even earlier. Where the hell is he? This is the disadvantage of not having each other's numbers.

I couldn't blog last night because I forced to finish more corrections and mum gave me a Math task to keep me more away from the Net. Hmph... !

Arif and I are becoming really close. I think we have feelings for each other. But I guess we just prefer to keep them to ourselves for now. We both have just broken up from our exes after all. But we have to meet again. We must! We must!

Dammit, where is he??

Tira

2008-07-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

I broke up with him last night. It wasn't that difficult anymore. But he really really doesn't want this. So for once, I'm actually the heart-breaker here.

Went to Iqah's this noon for a birthday party, celebrating hers and her siblings (all born in July) and my uncle's birthday. It got really ugly somewhere at the end. Won't say anything here.

One of those days, huh.

Tira

2008-07-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Ugh. Poklands.

Oh, I keep forgetting to mention that I got eighty for my Geography x) I think that's the highest I can get. What, yours is better? Let me enjoy this... !

Oh, the girl got possessed again. We were, like, "What, her again?" "Yeah." "Oh, okay."

Tira

2008-07-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

You know how dreams haunt what people do? Like the ones on tv? Well I thought that was just crap.
I admit, I use a cheat game to finish some of my games. Then there was this one night I had a nightmare that my Shadow Hearts went berserk on me and everything went blank and there were words, "You've been caught cheating."
Then last night I dreamt that I had another family gathering and my cousins started calling me a cheater. Aiya (-__-)

You know, I trained my Pokemon about... twenty-six levels today and the screen suddenly went black. I need to stop the principle "Don't charge anything until the end of the day".

(-__-)

Once again, I never said I was smart.

Tira

2008-07-17T06:31:00.000-07:00

After a day of deciding, we broke up.
But a few minutes ago, we got together again.
Fine, be the judge.

Oh, I told Wafi about Arif.

I almost failed my Math 1.

We stayed for Leong's extra class this afternoon. Then we found a note on his white board.

"Continue doing your work. I'll be going to KB for a discussion on your ehem3 exam paper. Sign your attendance."

Excellent. We stayed back for about three hours just for... what? Nothing.

Tira

2008-07-16T06:09:00.000-07:00

Okay. The computer is once again sick. My MSN is crippled.

Arghh...

-- Phone conversation --
Wafi: Inda ku mau.
Tira: Wafi...
Wafi: Aku sayang banar kan kau.
Tira: Fi...
Wafi: Aku brubah ni. Aku janji. Jangan putus.
Tira: Wafi, jangan cmatu...
Wafi: Inda ku mau putus. Inda ku mau.
Tira: Putus saja...
Wafi: Tch. Aku kan blajar banar-banar sama inda kurang ajar lagi.
Tira: ... Jangantah...
Wafi: Bari aku peluang, Irah.
Tira: Inda banyak bezanya ni... We'll still talk everyday... !
Wafi: Inda sama tu. Aku inda mau urang ambil kau.
Tira: Fi...
Wafi: Minum ku ni.
Tira: . . . What??!
Wafi: Ko inda mau sama aku, aku minum ni (I'll start drinking if you won't stay with me).
Tira: *cries*... Wafi... don't be like that...
Wafi: Irah... Aku mau sama kau saja. Bukan urang lain...

Yeah, cmatulah.

Tira

2008-07-15T06:09:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with one familiar question in my head.
"Good God! What the hell is happening to me??!!"
Of course, the issue only appears when there's something wrong. And something... is definitely... off beam.

Because this problem is pretty common, I will share it with you people.

I -- like -- Arif.

He's occupying my head more than Wafi is. I don't know. He's not very much boyfriend material (or so I think). But I really really like him. We've got so effing much in common. Including... the incapability to communicate continuously. We wanna talk to each other, but... there's just nothing to say... !

This morning I wanted to break up with Wafi. But then he suddenly called me and I just couldn't. Whether Arif has feelings for me or not, I think I need to break up with Wafi. It just feels wrong to keep him like this.

Intense training begins again. To level sixty.

Tira

2008-07-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

If people were to hate Pokemon, it would be because it's a world of jackasses and sore losers. I mean, battling everyone who has a Pokemon just to prove you're better. I think that's the objective of the game and the story. No wonder these people don't go to proms.

If people were to like the series, it would be because of the battles and the variety of these sometimes-fascinating creatures.

Alright, here's something random.

Wait. There's a chance kaka reads this blog. Never mind xD

Yeahh...

Tira

2008-07-13T06:13:00.000-07:00

I was sent to Rai's house.
We fetched her cousins, Fauziah and Faridah(sp?), which took a while.
Met up with some guy named Arif and Rai's crush, Dayat at Excapade.
I like Arif. He's pretty hilarious. We got along really quickly.

Rai: When you guys get your scholarships, no one's gonna make me laugh...
Tira: *imitates depressing violin tune*
Arif: That's Spongebob.
Tira: Ahah! It is!
*listens to music playing in the background*
Arif: Wow. The music works too.
*background music continues playing*
Arif: Are you still depressed?
Rai: No...
Arif: The music's still playing... Are you depressed??
Dayat: *shakes head*

--

Tira: *takes piece of chocolate from cake*
Arif: Don't touch that. That's mine.
Tira: No, it's not. You took my cherry already.
Arif: *turns away* Damn... !

Arif and Dayat are actually Rai's friends from her kendo classes. Yes, she does take kendo lessons. And they have one thing in common -- they're bony. They have the same incapability to get fat.

So um... yeah, that's my day.

Tira

"And you that I defend, I do not love." - Keane.

2008-07-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

I forgot to announce that it was Rai's birthday yesterday. She doesn't know it, since I'm quite incapable of expressing my true feeling to these people, but she's one of the best the things that's happened to me x)

"I can't express my love to people who are most important to me."
Hm... Can you really feel that way about me, kaka? Oh well.
We're going to Excapade tomorrow to celebrate her birthday. Yeah, kani maki! Momma's coming!

Tira: Harmy, this -- this is so wrong!!
Harmy: You got that right.
Tira: It's been such a long time, I can't remember a lyric! Oh, wait, it's all coming back now.
Harmy: Ugh! Just in case you don't know, you're now the lamest person in the universe right at this moment.
Tira: I couldn't help it (._.) Now I feel so lame.

I have an open tab which contains...
A YouTube video...
Guess what it is.
Come on.
I'd tell you if it's porn.
But this time it's not.
It's embarrassing. Really.
You got it?
You wanna know for sure?
Come on, ask and see if I'd tell you xD

Tira

2008-07-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

Check -- it.
Charizard (level 48)
Wigglytuff (level 48)
Nidoking (level 48)
Raichu (level 48)
Kadabra (level 49)
Persian (level 48)
Machoke (level 48)
Arcanine (level 48)
Vaporeon (level 48)
Dragonair (level 48)
Scyther (level 48)
Marowak (level 46)

Several days ago, they were all level forty-six. But before I could post them, Raichu turned level forty-eight after battling the Celadon gym. Then Cubone (Marowak) just came in today, which I took to train him from level seventeen to level forty-six xD

Damn, I wish I can work that hard for the pmb. Arghh...

Oh, I got a distinction for my History xD Mag and I are the only one who got it x)

Tira

2008-07-10T06:11:00.000-07:00

We'll release this town from the people who are trying to knock it down
And then only city lights can brighten the night sky
And there will be no sound

=)

Computer was... not so alright.

I think I'm getting addicted to nigahiga. His videos on YouTube, I mean.

Yeah, I guess that's all.

Tira

2008-07-09T06:08:00.000-07:00

I was reading back my diary earlier this evening. My thoughts a few months back.
No wonder people thought I was getting... bent in a way. Those things I said about kaka, I mean. I feel sorry for you listeners who were there for me. Wow. And someday I'm gonna turn like that again. Arghh...

Sing with me
Sing for the year
Sing for the laughter
Sing for the tear
Sing with me just for today
Maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away

Dream on
Dream on
Dream until your dreams come true

Aerosmith. Lawa...

Math 2 was only slighty better today. Or that's what I think.

Ummm... yeah...

Tira

2008-07-08T06:05:00.000-07:00

Keane rocks. Their songs are mostly well... really really good x)

I've started taking notes with my phone today. I've had quite enough of forgetting what to put here. So let's see.

I've recently started learning Spanish bit by bit x) I just love the language. I don't know. Every time I think Spanish, I think red. And red is my favourite colour x)

If I were to pick which Disney movies I love, I'd say Hercules and Meet the Robinsons. I've always loved Hercules. Like, from the first time I watched it x) Seriously. It has pretty nice songs and a very romantic story if you ask me. And Meet the Robinsons... is just incredible to me. I'd love to watch it again. I think it's a very sweet story wah.

Math today was just horrible. I failed the qualifying last year. Now I think I'm gonna fail again.

Tira

2008-07-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

Ah... sorry about my previous post.

Dammit, there it goes again!

Oh, that reminds me.
I do have A.D.D.. Or what other people call A.D.H.D.. Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder.
It means I tend to get easily distracted... like... tracking off in a conversation. I do that a lot. It also means I may have short term memory loss (Although I'm not sure what that actually means. I need to look that up too). Another symptom is that I can't stay put for a very long time.
Either that or I'm just... extremely dumb.

So yeah, I've forgotten what was supposed to fill this workspace. Once again.

Tira

2008-07-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

Hahah. I just realised Luce's password is pretty cliched xD

I'm blogging on my phone in my living room. Because Wafi was supposed to call me like an hour ago but then one of his siblings is there.

I wanna know who's the selfish moron who keeps putting History and IRK together. As in together -- oh, the phone's ringing.

Tira

2008-07-03T06:12:00.000-07:00

Well here's another reason why I shouldn't stay offline for days.
Yawen has long posts xD

I guess they do pick questions from the previous years.
Geography was pretty alright. But I won't guess. The last time I was happy about my Math, I actually ended up getting... ah... Well, it was ugly.

I have to laugh every time I think about Azizul. It's crazy but I can't help it.
Cigu Aziz was asking everyone of us what we did in our holidays.
Aziz: Zul, apa ko buat masa cuti? Online?
Azizul: Inda.
Aziz: Ko ada mobile kah?
Azizul: Mobile ku kana ambil . . .

It was his expression when he said that. It was like he was staring blankly into space or possibly traumatized. I can't stop laughing about it xD

Tira

2008-07-01T07:09:00.001-07:00

When you walk through the storm
hold your head up high
and don't be afraid of the dark

Love.
What exactly is the damn thing?
Can boys really fall in love?
Is this... "love" really just a girly dream?

Arghh...

Wafi was just awful this afternoon.
And I had to ask for an apology to get one. It's my first time getting mad at him xD

Tira: Now that I think of it, you were just ridiculous.
Wafi: Hmph =(
Tira: Don't worry, this anger won't last forever. But if you do something that much horrible ever again -- so help me -- I will break us up.
Wafi: Aaah!

I LOVE using "so help me"! xD Maybe it's because I kinda sound like a mother. Eheh.

Grandmother got into a road accident today. She's okay now, though. Just a few injuries, I guess. Her car's dead now, though. Kasian eh. So she's staying with us for a few days.

Yeahh.

Tira

2008-06-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

Great. I'm not supposed to be here.

Maybe I really do need a laptop.

I can't spend much time here now.

Arghh...

So don't be surprised if you don't see anything new here tomorrow.

So it's time things get more serious, huh.

Tira

2008-06-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

We went to KJ for lunch this morning.

Then I was forced to go to Yayasan. Mann...

I have a new calculator xD Finally.
If this one goes wrong too, I just know I'm cursed with bad calculators.

I noted to myself that I should stop what I do.
- Eat Maggi,
- enjoy life more than I... um... shape it xD
- go online ever friggin' nine pm,
- delay my revisions,
- go online every time I come out of showers,
- watch porn...

That's all for now.

Tira

2008-06-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

*sighs* What's up with Wafi... ? Haven't heard from him. I don't think he's used my account and he's only miss-called me twice today. Hmmm...

I want kani maki.

I guess he was acting pretty mad the last time I chatted with him. Only because I rejected his... yeah. Again.

I'm panicking. Haven't finished Leong's project. And I have so much more to cram into my head... ! I will not cry... x)

Mmm... kani maki...

Tira

2008-06-28T00:07:00.000-07:00

I have lips on my thumb. I drew them there. LOL like totally random.

There was Friday school yesterday, like the usuals. I woke up late, cos I stayed up to finish my KH folio. And it was due yesterday. Just when I was going to hand it in. I realised that I forgot to print my front cover. -.- Mr.Nicholas said it was okay to hand it in on Monday. Relieved.

The teachers didn't show up for class throughout the whole day, so everyone played board games and stuff. And plus, half of the class peeps were gone for training for the concert.

Wan Loong went to school yesterday, he looked abit better than the day before. The day before, he was gonno collapse, and he looked really pale. Anen, he didn't go for school since Friday last week cos he was in a car accident, he said the car flipped eight times. And his backbone was badly injured. Pity him, man. But actually, he was alright at first, until he went to train his shuffling, and yeah, not suppose to do that?

Anyway, at the last period, Mr.Valentine didn't show up for Art class, so they continued playing UNO. And like, suddenly Al took out this disc with girls not wearing any clothing except for undies, but nothing was seen, cos all three girls in the picture were sticking together. And yeah. Then Al was like, giving the picture to Glade, and something hilarious happened.

Whilst the guys were playing UNO.

Bron : It's your turn.
James : Okay.
Glade : No, no, it's my turn. *throws the disc cover with the nude girls*
All the guys : WOOOOAAAAHHHHHH. *covers eyes*
Me and Al : AHAHAHA ! AHAHAHA ! *drops to the floor*

I'm not going to school on Monday, cos C.L and 'Laine's not gonno be there. Plus, no classes anyway.

Lus

2008-06-27T06:11:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's me. But I can still taste those crabs I ate for lunch this morning. Yeahh x)

Great. Somehow, my grandma overheard me telling Wafi "I love you". And she just haad to tell one of my aunts. Arghh... ! Iqah told me about their conversation.
Grandma: Irah has a boyfriend... !
Aunt: Nahh... She can't have.
Grandma: She said "I love you". That's not normal.

Translated, of course. Fortunately, they agreed not to tell my parents.
But still... why did granny have to go and do that?? I'm a teenager! I'm pretty alim, but I'm a teenager! Bound to get a boyfriend! Arghhh!!!

Fakrul was online again last night.

Fakrul: Ada ia?
Tira: He got disconnected.
Fakrul: Hahah.
Fakrul: I missed you. Really really did.
Tira: You say that to every girl.
Fakrul: I want you.
Tira: Ugh, no, you don't... !
Fakrul: He's not disconnected. He went off. Doing drugs. Or he may be bored of you. Or he's just having an affair. Be with me.
Tira: Oh, so you're a good boy.
Fakrul: I'm a good boy.
Tira: Hah.
Fakrul: How old is he?
Tira: How old are you?
Fakrul: Nineteen.
Tira: He's eighteen.
Fakrul: Eighteen?! Hahah. Small cock.
Tira: Oh, you know?
Fakrul: Your boyfriend has a small cock.
Tira: See, he's back online xb
Fakrul: F.uck.

Ahahah... ! I thought that was hilarious... ! xD
I mean, the end part x)

Tira

2008-06-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

Okay. So I haven't fully convinced Wafi. He still wants a piece of Fakrul xD
But I still won't let him x3

"Kevin" was using Nin's account this afternoon. In the end he had to go because "his brothers were nagging him to get some sleep because they have to go for some recording the next day". Um... okay. Wha??

Heh... yeah...

Tira

2008-06-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

Wow. It's ridiculous but wow.

There was this guy Fakrul who claimed he's in love with me. I told him I already have Wafi. And there are well... more fish in the pond xD

Fakrul: Does he really love you?
Tira: He seems to.
Fakrul: Tell him I want a bet. Siapa manang, dapat kau.
Tira: What??
Fakrul: Britau ia awal ani.

--
Wafi: Banar kah ni??
Tira: Awuu...
Wafi: Does he wanna have a fight?? (<- translated)
Tira: Ah... Wafi, don't listen to him...
Wafi: Tanya ia. Ia mau klaie kah??

--

Fakrul: Awu. Siapa manang, dapat kau.
Tira: You're not getting anything!
Fakrul: Kamu sudah f-ing kah? That's why you don't wanna let him go... ?
Tira: Palui ko. We haven't f-ed!
Fakrul: Aku ko ucap palui?
Tira: See, you don't love me. If you love me, you'd let me be happy.
Fakrul: I love you. I want you. Tell him I'll be at Gadong.
Tira: I won't!

--

Wafi: Bah, tanya ia dimana. One on one. Aku bawa butterfly knife ku.
Tira: You're not going!
Wafi: Ia cari pasal ah.
Tira: What would you get from it? Pride?
Wafi: I wanna protect you.
Tira: I'm safe! He's not gonna get me... !

--

Fakrul: Bah, mana tia? Penakut jua boy mu ani.
Tira: I'm not letting him.
Fakrul: Penakut.
Tira: He's not a coward. I'm not letting him.
Fakrul: Tell him -- One day, I will get you.
Tira: Dream on.
Fakrul: This is no dream, baby. I'm talking about reality. I want you.
Tira: You're not getting anything.
Fakrul: I'm giving him time to think. Where and when. See you, babe.
Tira: I'm not worth this, for God's sake!

--

Tira: Off tia.
Wafi: Napa? Takut?
Tira: God! You can't be this ridiculous! Fighting for a girl... Ugh!
Wafi: Ia ngacau gf urang ah.
Tira: Stupid people do stupid things. You wanna join the club??
Wafi: Banar pulang...
Tira: Wafi... He's not getting anything... but you have me to keep.
Wafi: Tapi ertinya aku surrender jua tu.
Tira: Because you're the better man!

Wafi: Hmmm... *censored (listed all the things he's been wanting to do and wasn't able to do because he's been listening to me)*
Tira: Umm... Eheh... Is that good or bad?
Wafi: Good.
Tira: Wafi, I care about you. I won't let you damage yourself in any way.
Wafi: Why?? None of my exes have cared about me this way...
Tira: Oh... well... you've only had two exes x)
Wafi: Oh... Banar pulang...
Tira: x)
Wafi: =(
Tira: What's wrong?
Wafi: I don't wanna lose you... I don't wanna let you go...

Eheh... God, where the hell is he??

=(

Tira

2008-06-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

Why is it so difficult to get "You'll Never Walk Alone"??

I spent the afternoon talking to Wafi on the phone. He seemed a bit hyper today.

My shoulder aches.

I just ate eighteen kani makis, by the way xb
I can never get tired of them x)
My fingers still smell of seaweed xb

Yeahh...

God, I need to get studying... !!

Tira

2008-06-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

Dude, "Get Smart"... a must-watch.

We had a barbecue party last night.
Iqah and Nin slept over.

Ahahah.

I'm hungry.

Tira

2008-06-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

Damn. My private hiding place is found. And I thought people said I lived furthest from the school. Half of the people in class know where I live. snoffugun. -.- And all those so called, "admirers" saw my house add on my English file, and went searching. I wish I said what scott told the teach,

Mdm.Bessie : Scott, you forgot to write your house address.
Scott : Okay. OH WAIT, I don't know my own house address.

*silence*

Scott : I'm serious !!

Last night was not as bad as I thought it would be. I did Math until 12.30 midnight. And went to sleep when I was totally energized. Amazingly woke up at eight, but slacked until nine. Then Al texted. Went downstairs, grabbed my break, and started working on Math again.

Anyway, lately been really confused. Pretty much dislike school, now. But it was fine.

I'll be on hiatus, like the usuals, for another week.

-toodles.

Lus

2008-06-20T06:13:00.000-07:00

I think I'm obsessed with my Pokemon.
They're so precious... !

Charizard (Level 44)
Wigglytuff (Level 39)
Nidoking (Level 38)
Raichu (Level 46)
Kadabra (Level 37)
Persian (Level 39)
Machoke (Level 37)
Arcanine (Level 37)
Vaporeon (Level 25)

And so begins another intense training period.

I'm worried about Wafi...
- I think he's planning to marry me... ! He keeps on talking about a honeymoon and going on a date when I'm eighteen! Arghh!!
- A friend of mine said he was acting a little emo earlier tonight. Said that Wafi thought the friend was better. Well... that's right. But still... I love Wafi! Wouldn't want him to be that gloomy... !

Kaka miss-called me x3
... After I had miss-called her xD

Tira

2008-06-19T06:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, people I have given my MSN password to Wafi. Luce, never ever tell him what I've posted on this blog. Namely his horny side.

Nin had messaged "Joe" with my phone the other night. So I couldn't help but give him a miss-call xD
Nothing happened then.
Then I added the number into my contacts xD
Ahahah...

Mum's returning from Bangkok tomorrow afternoon =)

Yeahh...

Tira

2008-06-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

"Good people go to heaven and bad people go to that place where people think they're dying and they always wish for death. But death never comes."

It's true. That's why it's disturbing. Hm.

I had lots of fun sleeping over at grandmum's last night. Even though there were lizards almost at every corner. Before we entered the house, she asked us to close the gates. It smelt of what I remember were turtles. Granddad used to keep them when we very very young. When everything was just nice. When the house was anything but haunted. How nostalgic.
Like I said, the house was still lovely even though lizards have adapted to it more than my grandmum seems to have. The smell of memories. I could stay awake all night sniffing it in.
It's awfully sad. That very house was our family center. My cousins and I would always go there and just... be kids. Run around, wrestle each other, f up the living room and occasionally one or more of us cries xD
Damn... We've come quite a long way, boobies.

Anyway. Here's something I know you people won't believe. I don't really believe it. The actual person didn't really believe it either. But it was right in front of my eyes, I can tell you that.

Nin had a call with Joe Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. They had quite a long talk...

Tira: Nin! Let me talk! I wanna talk!
Nina: No, I haven't been to New Jersey. But... my favorite boys are there. Heh...
Tira: Ninn!
Nina: Brunei. It's... nothing compared to the US...
Tira: Small invisible dot on the world map.
Nina: Yeah, small invisible dot on the world map.
Tira: I wanna talk!
Nina: I heard you like... some girl named Cheryl... And you liked Emma Watson?
Tira: Nin!!
Nina: I don't want her to talk to you.
Tira: Awww!!

Anyway, when she hung up, I asked her if that was really real.
"I don't know," she said. "I just got the number from this website and... tried it out."

Aiyoooo... !!

Tira

2008-06-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna sleep over at granny's tonight, along with Nin and Iqah so here I am =)

I captured a Machop two nights ago =)
He was level nineteen yesterday, but now he's level thirty-seven xb
I'm a training machine xb

God, I had an awful discussion with Wafi last night. Not even about sex. Seriously.

Oh, last night I dreamt that Yawen was an owner of a bookstore xD
Then I met Amin there, who was hardly recognizable. He was grown up and didn't wear spectacles and didn't have err... all those pimples and those fish lips xD But he looked so familiar and when he smiled at me that's when I knew.
"Hey," I said to him. I asked what he was doing there and... yeah...
Hahah. The conversation was a bit hilarious.
Tira: You look funny... You sound funny...
Amin: Well... you know, after your kaka *blurry*

Do I actually wanna know what he was saying?

Here.

Tira

2008-06-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

Nin was nice enough to give me three dollars worth of credit. But I spent... five dollars calling Wafi last night xD Or this morning.

Wafi: Mana cousin mu?
Tira: Tu, btlipun sama kawannya.
Wafi: Jan dikacau... Ia kan phone sex bah tu.
Tira: Ahahah! Manada! Ia good girl xD

And I called him this afternoon...

Wafi: Ko tau... siuk ku sama kau...
Tira: Ah? Hahah, apa siuknya kan?
Wafi: Mmm, siuk lah... It's because of you I changed.
Tira: Iawah?? Cmana?
Wafi: I've never known a girl who rejects phone and chat sex. (<- translated)
Tira: Ahahahah... ! Nada kan!

Ohh... boy... Now he's extra horny... Aiyaa!!

Tira

2008-06-15T05:39:00.000-07:00

"Jaga. Blogspot," says Nina.

I'm at hers. Sleepover. Oh, Wafi, I miss you.

He called me at around two in the morning. He was at his friend's house. He couldn't sleep and he just had to call me. Then he asked me to transfer some credit (-.-)

Wafi: Karau kah suara ku?
Tira: Inda... Hot jua masih.
Wafi: Hahah. Hot? Kau pun hot.

Ahahah... !

I've found out that he quite... invincible...
He woke up at eight and plays futsal in the afternoon, and can still stay awake until after two.

And and he likes to... daydream x) I don't think I'd go into more details. Not now, at least. Nina is quite grossed out enough. Hahah.

Tira

2008-06-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

Eheh. Awesome. I'm finally on top of a love triangle. Heh. I think.
Anyway, three people have claimed they like me x) And two of them loves me x)

I'm tireed... Didn't nap this afternoon. I just came home from a tahlil. Heheh. Mmm...
There's this other cousin of mine who looks almost exactly like Zaim. His name is Hafiz. Mum says we call him "uncle" because um... well... I don't really know. But I think I prefer Hafiz.
Anyway, Hafiz's hair is curly unlike Zaim's. And I don't think Hafiz is a playboy. So I guess those are the only differences I can think of.

Awesome. I'm not looking at the keyboard. I'm not looking...
x)

I didn't go to school today x)

Have I told you Wafi has the sexiest voice my ears have ever heard? It's one of the things I love about him. It's so manly. Banar.

Tira.

2008-06-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

13/06/08

Decided to go to Eastwood for the million dollar concert, last minute decision. Reached there at six, and there was this huge crowd. Called Al, and kept getting disconnected. Then suddenly saw Al, and gave mum a hug, and she left. Went to buy "I don't know what it's called", reflector, for the concert. Saw the cutest of the cute, Zhong Sen Zhong. Screamed damn lot. And his younger sis, Zhong Xiao Yue, darn pretty also. Went home at eleven plus, and traffic was pretty much sucky.

____

M-Girls and the Zhong Sen Zhong went to school. Everyone was excited, and running around. Not to mention screams from guys, sounding like it's coming from a girl's. I think Riam's the first school to have Celebs coming? I dunno.

12/06/08

There was rehearsal yesterday for the welcome of the Minister, Tun something I forgot his name. Then Mr.Richard wanted us to carry all our bloody chairs from the third floor to the stadium. It was fine, until he forced us to walk faster carrying the chairs. Then I started to run, cos I was too fedup. And he told me not to run. -.-

Anyway, was pretty blue today. I kept quiet throughout the whole chinese class, and I started to cry cos bla bla bla. Then Jess was like asking what's wrong and stuff, but I was mute. I just stared outside, and it started raining. Boh Mood. After three, it was raining, and I had to wait at the Stadium for mum's car. So I walked all the way through the field under the rain. When I reached there, mum wasn't there, so I walked back to the staffroom to get bro, but bro wasn't there either.

Then I just stood at the corridor, and started crying again. Anen, I saw mum's car, and I walked over under the rain. Was pretty much alright, since I was emo.

Now I'm sick.

*cheers*

Lus

2008-06-13T06:05:00.000-07:00

-- Several minutes ago --
Tira: Was gonna say yesterday... You'd think you'd let him out at least for his birthday.
Kaka: Oh. You wanna talk to him?
Tira: Manasaja.
Kaka: Jap ah. I'll call him.
---
Jyuu: Tiraaaaaaa-chaaaaaannnnnn!!!!!!!!! *pounces*
Tira: (0.0) *collapses*
Jyuu: *touches your face* How's my little Tira-chan?
Tira: *turns red*
Jyuu: You look adorable! As always.
Tira: You look well... hot.
Jyuu: Oh, and Jyuu sayang Tira-chan too!
Tira: Oh, you said a Malay word!
Jyuu: I got it from your nick. I know it's for me.
Tira: Ahahah. *kisses your cheek*
Jyuu: Hahah. That tickles, Tira-chan!
Tira: *smiles warmly*
Jyuu: Jyuu's taller now. Thanks to Neko-sama.
Tira: I know (0.0) Why'd you have to grow taller?! I'm only right here xD
Jyuu: Ahah... It's cute...
Tira: *smiles*...
Jyuu: Tira-chan...
Tira: Hm?
Jyuu: ... Is Tira-chan's hubby online?
Tira: No...
Jyuu: *upset*
Tira: Oh, Jyuu... Please don't give me that... You know I still love you. I think about you every time...

"I get it... It's because I'm half-fiction that I can't have you all to myself. Well I guess this is goodbye... I love you."

- Jyuu

*sighs*...

What's worse?
Cheating on your boyfriend with a real guy or with the sweetheart of your dreams... who really is just a dream.
Kaka has made such a mistake. But she's not to be blamed completely because I should have confronted her about Jyuu's non-existence before I fell in love with him.
But then again, I had already fallen for him the moment I had set my eyes on his nick and address. The moment I knew.

He's just a dream...

Why can't this love be so too?

Tira

2008-06-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

Guess who wasn't real after all?
Guess who wasn't real all along?

Happy sixteenth birthday, Jyuu dearest =) He's sixteen, yes.

Kaka: What were you two trying to do??
Tira: Um... just reproduci- I mean... Ah...
Kaka: Reproducing??!! He's only fifteen, for God's sake!

That was part of a conversation I had with her on the night after Jyuu tried to... *clears throat* About a month later, she talked about having triplets... Okayy...

Yeah =)

Tira